Waiting...

I hate it.  I hate waiting in lines.  I hate waiting for food.  I hate waiting a week to see the next episode of a show.  I hate waiting months for the next season.  I hate waiting in traffic.  Waiting makes me feel trapped, claustrophobic, anxious.

Yet, somehow I feel like my life is paused and I am stuck waiting.

Waiting for Hannes to be ready so we can leave the house (he has to decide which of his 47 pairs of Vans to wear).  Waiting to have a baby (I have to work for 240 days first).  Waiting to be engaged (I have to wait for Hannes to be ready).  Waiting to meet my new coworkers (I have to wait until August 1st).  Waiting for our apartment (It isn't available until August 1st).  Waiting to buy things for our new apartment (Hannes says it's dumb to buy things now and then have to move them all).

I'm tired of feeling trapped and anxious and claustrophobic...I'm tired of waiting.  I'm tired of waiting to be someone's fiancee.  I'm tired of waiting to be pregnant.  I'm tired of waiting to see our new apartment.  I'm ready for something to happen.  I need this next chapter to begin, to take my mind off of all of the things that I'm waiting for and just give me something to do!

Jönköping/Huskvarna

On Wednesday we took a day trip to Jönköping...well, really Huskvarna, to see where we would be living.  We stopped by my school, which is absolutely amazing!  Went by the apartment and then drove past the school the kids will be attending.  The weather was absolutely amazing so we decided to head to the lake, get some ice cream and just look around.  The city is absolutely charming...cobblestone streets, little shops, restaurants, a pier that you can walk out into the lake on and even sandy beaches!  I am definitely looking forward to being able to hang out there next month!  The largest lake is freezing cold and not really the best for swimming, but luckily there are several much smaller lakes that are warmer and much better to take a dip in.  Our apartment looked pretty nice.  It's only two bedrooms so it's definitely going to much smaller than what we are used to, but hopefully it's only temporary.  We also found out how much we were going to be paying in rent...6,672 kronor/month!  It's a lot more than we were expecting.  Since it's so small and in a smaller city I was thinking it'd be closer to 5,000, but we had NO other options so I guess we will have to make it work!  Hannes just needs to find a job soon!

Half-Truths

When I started this blog it was full of lies.  Now, however, it is full of half-truths.  I am STILL not a wife, but I am kind of Swedish.  Well, living in Sweden at least.  I guess I can say that even though it has been about 24 hours since our arrival.  I am hoping to make the wife part true sooner rather than later.

Our trip here was very exhausting.

We arrived at the airport in St. Louis at 11:30 and arrived in Gothenburg at 10:00 the next day.  We had just about 24 hours of traveling and airports and airplanes and turbulence, oh the turbulence!  Our first flight in to Denver was very rocky and I was definitely not feeling well at all.  Luckily, we got to rest for a little over an hour before getting on our next flight to Reykjavik.  I did learn one thing...I will NEVER fly Icelandair again!  We had 10 hours of flying with them, one 7 hour flight from Denver to Reykjavik and then a 3 hour flight from Reykjavik to Stockholm and they gave us NO food, ZERO!  Not a bag of pretzels or peanuts or almonds or snack mix or anything.  We did get ONE drink and it took nearly 3 hours to get that.  Since our connecting flight in Reykjavik was tight we did not even have time to get food at the airport.  Needless to say that by the time we landed in Gothenburg, having been traveling for nearly 12 hours since our last meal, we were starving!  We did get a little lucky during our trip though.  We only had to pay $75 to get all of our bags from St. Louis to Gothenburg.  We somehow had Classic tickets with Frontier Airlines so all of our bags were free, except the one that weighed 86 pounds, that one we had to pay a $75 overweight fee.  Frontier Airlines does not have a ticketing agreement with SAS so we had to collect all of our bags and recheck them in in Stockholm.  We got lucky again because the guy working at the counter gave us all of our bags free because we were moving to Sweden!  We were expecting to pay almost $400 to check our bags, but now we have $325 more dollars to buy everything!  I do not think it is going to be much fun starting all over.  You forget about all of the little things you have to buy...silverware, pot holders, windex, dish soap, spices, toilet paper...it all adds up!  Thankfully, we have one less thing we have to buy...a gorgeous LeCrueset enameled cast iron dutch oven!  Hannes' parents got us one as a moving gift/graduation present/birthday present.  It is everything I ever wanted!  It was definitely a nice gesture and I will definitely be using it often...now I just have to find a way to ship a 10 pound dutch oven when we move back, but I guess I have a few years to figure it out.

Freaking Out!!!!

So I've done a lot of thinking hypothetically...but now things are starting to sink in and I'm freaking out!  I get a little short of breath when I think about boarding a plane with a one way ticket in my hand.  I think about my nieces (one born and one unborn) that I will not be able to see for a weekend here or there.  Then I start to look around my house and I see all of the things that I still need to get rid of!  Freaking out!  Then I realize how much I hate Craig's List and all of the idiots who really want something and they'll pick it up tomorrow and then you never hear from them again and you've turned down two people who have since either bought something else or fallen off the face of the Earth because they will no longer respond to emails!  I hate it all!  Anyone want to buy some furniture?  One thing I know for sure is moving is for the birds!  It's bad enough when you're moving to a new house, but so much worse when you're moving halfway around the world (I measured and it's exactly halfway)!  I have no idea how we're going to be completely moved out of here by this weekend, I have no idea how we're going to get everything to fit in suitcases and to the airport, I have no idea when we'll have a renter and I'm a thinker and a planner and this is all making me a little neurotic!  I cannot let go of the details and I'm feeling so overwhelmed that nothing is getting done!  It's just all going to have to work out some how...

It's Officially Official!

I got the call I've been waiting for earlier this week...our residency permits were approved!  From here on everything will be happening really fast!  I resigned my position yesterday, we have to go to DC on May 24th and we want renters in our house by June 1st!  We need to leave May 22nd to make the drive and my last day of work is May 21st.  So, everything has to be gone and we need to have things packed up and cleaned by the 20th of May...nearly one month from now!  Luckily, we have a giant garage sale on May 19th, but it's going to be cutting it really close.  Then once we return from our vacation, on June 2nd, we only have a few weeks until we become residents of another country.  Exciting stuff!  Now if only I could quit being so anxious and stop feeling like I'm constantly going to vomit!

Kitchen Wish List

If I was going to make a big purchase it would definitely be on kitchen gadgets.  These are the things I want more than anything else!

1.  Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer (220v of course, so it would work in Sweden)  I'm really loving this yellow color right now.

2. Le Crueset, enough said!

3.  This beautiful tea kettle, it's rustic and modern at the same time.

Just like Italy

Pinspiration!

Pinterest has the ability to make you feel like a domestic goddess.  You can find any recipe you want, learn to make your own pasta, bake cookies you never knew existed, it can teach you how to create any hairstyle you can imagine, lead you to new shops with clothes you never knew you wanted, show you how to get your house cleaner than a hospital and more organized than The Amandas could!  You just don't realize all of the hours you have to spend online to become a better you.  While you're looking up hairstyles or organization tips or recipes or whatever, life is going on without you.  Your kids are aging, your relationship is falling apart and nothing is actually getting clean or organized because you're on the computer!  Restraint is the most important aspect of using Pinterest.  Now I just have to work on my restraint.  Spend a few hours a week, at least, with no phone or computer or anything.  Just reconnect with the people in my life that matter the most.  Pinterest I will miss you, but we will still have some time together...quality not quantity, right?

Ummmm, say what?!

Last week I discovered the greatest invention for time wasters, procrastinators and blog lovers like me...bloglovin'!  Bloglovin' is the greatest invention ever!  You simply type in the names of the blogs you want to follow, log in to bloglovin' and then you can see every new post right there!  It's amazing!  Sorry for all the exclamation points, but it really changed my life!!!!  No more trying to remember all of the names of the blogs you follow or trying to remember if you've checked it lately.  It's great!

We passed...I think!

Yesterday was our last interview with the consulate.  Originally, I thought I'd only have the one, but then I got a phone call...the dreaded phone call.  I had to have a second interview; well, not me exactly but the kids.  Even worse!  Tyler is known to say things out loud that should never be said out loud.  I would tell you, but really they shouldn't even be typed.  So you can understand why I was nervous.  Luckily, they were asked pretty simple questions.  For example, what's your name and how old are you?  What's your best friend's name?  Do you go to school and what's the name of your school?  They did throw in a real doozie...what are the names' of your grandparents?!  They got a 50% on that question!  Who knows their grandparents real names?  Papa?  Grandma?  I don't blame them, that question was a little unfair.  Now we just have to wait....that's the hard part!

Oh, and I found something else to waste some more of your time!  I'm like a magnet for blogs!
http://seejaneworkplaylive.blogspot.com

Oh My Blog!

So I am clearly obsessed with blogs and I do not discriminate.  Fashion blogs...yep!  Cooking blogs...yep!  Family blogs...yep!  Scrapbooking blogs...why not!  Living on a ranch blog...absolutely!

Here is a list of the blogs I like (just in case anyone else wants a life with zero human interaction):

1. The Daybook Blog
2. The Rockstar Diaries
3. Kevin and Amanda
4. The Pioneer Woman
5. Nat the Fat Rat
6. Homesick Texan
7. Stylized Existence
8. Chevrons and Stripes

Of course...

My only plans for last weekend were to prepare my documents for my interview at the consulate.  I put everything in my car on Saturday, just so, you know, I wouldn't forget them.  I have a tendency to forget things: underwear on vacations, my driver's license on a trip to Vegas (Note:  you can do NOTHING in Vegas without a license proving you're 21!), once I even left for work and forgot to put on shoes.  So, this step was very important...I did not want to forget anything!  The day went by quickly today; although, Hannes forgot to remind me that I needed to leave work for my interview this afternoon (I told you I was forgetful!).  I did remember the interview and as I was leaving and driving to Clayton I began to get nervous.  Like really nervous, like poop my pants nervous and that's when I remembered.  THE PASSPORTS!!!  I forgot the passports!  I was too scared to call because I thought she might cancel the interview.  I decided not to mention it unless she brought it up.

The actual interview went well.  No crazy questions about scars or toothbrushes or favorite pencils.  Although, Hannes should know mine...dixon ticonderoga, of course!  She said she'd call if she needed to see my passport and I left feeling much better about the whole situation.  We should have some answers within the next few months.

Current Obsessions...

1. Babies and tiny baby clothes!  I have become überobsessed making baby onesies lately.  Which is a little ironic because I bought the things to make these onesies months ago and procrastinated and then in one day I made 10!!

2. Beans...I don't know if Hannes is happy about this latest obsession, but I just can't get enough.  Lately, we've had bean burritos, bean enchiladas, bean chili, the other day I just ate beans for lunch.  After watching Forks Over Knives I've been replacing most of the meat I eat with beans.

3. Smulpaj, I love smulpaj, especially Hannes' sister's and I have been trying for years to recreate it.  It never comes out right, it's always a little too buttery and brown and just not right, but last night I did it!  I think I cracked the smulpaj code and I have a feeling I'm going to be making these often!

Nervous...

So...on Tuesday I have my interview at the Swedish Consulate.  I keep having flashbacks to the early 90's movie Green Card with Andie MacDowell and  Gérard Depardieu.  They had to interview with immigration officers to prove they were a couple and were in love.  They asked some ridiculous questions and I'm not sure I'd know the answers!  It's kind of freaking me out.  Last night Hannes explained to me how he got all of the scars on his body...just in case they ask.  He did a lot of DUMB things, like riding his bike with his eyes closed.  Who does that?!  This afternoon while making chili I was trying to remember the story of how he became a Liverpool fan and what soccer teams his Dad and brother like.  I'm starting to feel the pressure!  Hopefully, everything goes well and I have some good news to report soon.  Fingers crossed!!

Application Update

Today I woke up to an email from the Swedish Migration Board saying that I needed to call and schedule an appointment at a consulate!  Hannes also received an email from them saying that if we can prove we've lived together for two years then our application will automatically be approved!  Unfortunately, we cannot prove that because even though Hannes has been living here for a LONG time, because of his scholarship at Lindenwood he had to live on campus and had an address there until last May.  I don't know what happens now, I'm still waiting to hear back from the consulate so I can schedule an appointment.  I'm also not sure what documents we could possibly have to prove that we've been living together.  At least this process is much easier than it would have been if we tried to get him a residency visa here.

Fingers crossed!!

Current Obsessions

I have a few new things I am currently obsessed with:

1. Halls Lemon and Honey Cough Drops, but hopefully not for too long.  I just want to feel better.  Being sick stinks!

2. Baking, I don't know what it is lately, but all I want to do is bake.  Last weekend I made delicious snickerdoodles.  They were so warm and cinnamony.  I want to make homemade flour tortillas this weekend.  I like all of the measuring and mixing and flour.  I feel so accomplished when I'm finished!

3. Crocheting, I am feeling very Suzy Homemaker looking at this list!  I recently just finished making a slouchy hat, you're welcome Caitlin!  It might be the first pattern that I've followed where what I made actually ended up looking like what I was trying to make!

Hittin' the Spot

I was finally able to satisfy my soft, yeasty, hot roll craving!  I found these great frozen rolls that heat up in five minutes in the oven...so much better than the hour and a half I spent on the batch last weekend!

Hannes and I watched this documentary, Forks Over Knives, on my snow day a few weeks ago.  We got really freaked out and have pretty much given up meat and dairy products.  We still eat cheese, sometimes, but we have successfully replaced most of our meat with beans!  Which is good for our health, but maybe not our gastrointestinal tracts....or mostly mine (sorry baby!).

I've also found a new blog that I love to waste spend time reading.
http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com

If I keep finding blogs to read, pretty soon I won't have time for anything else!

So Close...

A lot of very exciting things happened today.  I almost made homemade rolls.  I had this weird craving for soft, yeasty, hot rolls.  Hannes and I whipped up some crusty, yeasty, hot rolls.  Two of three ain't bad....right?  I'm still craving some soft rolls though.  Maybe tomorrow.

I also filed my application with the Swedish Migration Board for our residency permit!  Now we just have to wait about four months to find out!!  I hope it gets approved because that application was overwhelming!  I don't know how to write 5,000 characters about my relationship or how we keep in touch or how my kids have lived so far in their lives.  What does maintenance mean?  Or upkeep?  I don't think I ever got anywhere near the 5,000 word mark, but we'll see what happens.  This application may mean a trip to DC is in our future too.  I need to give a special thanks to Hannes for paying for the application because US Bank is stupid and put a hold on my credit because I'm trying to flee the country (which I didn't find out about until I tried to pay for pizza later...annoying!).

Current Obsessions

So, right now I'm obsessed with a few things:

1. Pinterest, I know I will never do/make/cook most of the things I "pin" on there, but it somehow makes me feel to better to believe that I could sew that bag/skirt/bapron.

2. Blogs, two of my favorites to spend hours reading/looking at are:
    http://taza-and-husband.blogspot.com/
    http://www.thedaybookblog.com/
   Is it weird that both of the women who write these blogs are Mormon and live in DC?  I wonder if they know each other?

3. Kladdkaka, Hannes and I have been working out hard the last few days (I know!  It's a lot for us though) and all I have wanted to eat is kladdkaka, Hannes wouldn't let me.  Lucky for me he's at class two nights a week so the first chance I had I made some!

4. http://homesicktexan.blogspot.com, I have always had an obsession with Mexican food, minus the cilantro, and this blog has tons of great recipes!  I'm hoping to own her cookbook one day (wink, wink).  I think the first thing I'm going to try is homemade chorizo!

Svensk Fashion (and Design)

So, I have started preparing for the upcoming move.  By that, I mean that I have glanced at the residency application requirements.  Thought about gathering my documents and getting everything ready.  Dreaded nearly emptying my bank account to pay for the application.  I have, however, been spending hours looking at fashion and design blogs in Sweden.  This is the important part right?  Trying to figure out what clothes to bring and what I can wear and not look like an American wandering the streets of Gothenburg on vacation.  Hannes and I have also been spending our fair share of Saturdays looking at apartments for rent or houses for sale, knowing they will not still be around when we need them, but what else do we have to do?!  This has made me want to think about furniture and design, we have never really decorated anything together or picked out furniture.  So, I was elated when I found this little blog:

http://emmas.blogg.se/

Bonus - she writes in English!  I've spent many hours looking at gorgeously decorated Swedish rooms!  I think I just might get this part figured out.  Now I just need to worry about the embassy...maybe another day!