And here's a cute picture of Henry!
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Happy Anniversary Sweden
Exactly one year ago today we arrived in Sweden, with 12 suitcases, 2 children and 1 job. This last year has been the hardest year of my life and the best year of my life. I have met some amazing people, have some of the best coworkers and made some lifelong friends. I have also been very far away from some of the most important people in my life. In some ways we aren't that far away...14 hours, roughly. That's closer than the drive from St. Louis to DC, but in other ways we're really far away. It costs about $1,000 for a plane ticket back home. That is certainly not cheap and not something we can afford more than once a year. I definitely miss being able to drive to Chicago for a weekend and see my sisters. I miss having family game nights. I miss not being able to be there for special moments. Like my stepmom's marriage to Gregali, Ellie's 2nd birthday, Addie's 1st birthday, Jessie's 30th birthday. Yet, at the same time, I really enjoy my life in Huskvarna. I like where I live and where I work. I like the calm, easy pace of a Swedish lifestyle. I also had baby Henry here so this place will always be special to me. It was definitely not an easy decision I made to move here, but one that I am glad I made. It is a chapter in my life that I will never forget and neither will Emily and Tyler. It has been fun to watch them learn a new language, make new friends, become more responsible and grow in ways I never thought possible. It has not always been easy...we have all definitely had some homesick moments and we have had to adjust to living in a much smaller space, but overall I think we made the right choice...for us...for now. Hannes and I have always said that this is not a permanent move, but something we felt was important for us to do. Eventually, we would like to move back to the states and continue our life there, but for now this is our home. At the end of one year here we have 1 small apartment, 3 children and 2 jobs. We have definitely grown a lot!
And here's a cute picture of Henry!
And here's a cute picture of Henry!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
He Took His Sweet Time...
But he was worth the wait! At 8:30 in the morning on June 7th I lost my mucus plug. I was never so excited to have something so gross happen to me! I had been having contractions on and off for several weeks, but I wasn't sure if they were Braxton Hicks or pre-labor contractions. At 2:30 am on June 7th I woke up to what I thought may have been my first real contraction. By 8:30 am, I knew I was making progress and we were closer to having this baby. Hannes and I went for a long walk, called his parents and then came home and I took a nap. I figured I should be rested if this baby was coming. This being my third baby I thought labor would come on quickly and be fairly short...boy was I wrong! I had contractions every five minutes for several hours, they weren't extremely painful, but I figured if this baby was going to come fast we should go get checked out.
At 5 pm we made a trip to the hospital to see what the progress was...I was 2 cm. Talk about disappointed! I had been having contractions for 8 1/2 hours at that point and only 2 cm!!! It was not the news I wanted to hear. We went back home. We went for another walk and I laid down and rested a little more. My contractions started coming quicker and they were stronger. It was hard to find a place to get comfortable at home so at 8 pm we decided to go back to the hospital and see where we were. After nearly 12 solid hours of labor I was at 4 cm. The nurse told me women usually progress about 1 cm an hour so I was really hoping I was further along at this point, but NO! They told us that we needed to stay at the hospital and they set us up in the labor and delivery room. The midwife hooked up all of the monitors and left. At 9, they had a shift change and our new midwife came in to introduce herself. At this point, my contractions were still bearable, but I was having bad back labor. I tried standing up and bending over the bed and having Hannes press on my back, but nothing seemed to work. The midwife brought me a hot water bottle and suggested I walk around outside for a while. The hot water really helped! Sweden was playing some soccer game and we didn't have a TV in the room so Hannes was listening to it on the radio. I joked that he was probably the worst husband ever leaving me to wander around outside, alone, while I was having contractions, but there was only 4 minutes left on the game and I was doing okay. I walked around for a while and then came back in and sat in the recliner, where I spent most of my time in labor. It was very comfortable and put just enough pressure on the water bottle on my lower back. I felt okay and Hannes and I talked in between contractions. Then 11 pm came and everything went downhill fast! My contractions were coming with almost no break, they were stronger and more painful then ever. I had Hannes call in the nurse to check me and see what progress I had made. I was at 6 cm!!! That was the worst news I could possibly ever hear. I, potentially, had 4 more hours of labor ahead of me! I knew I could endure the pain for a little longer, but not four more hours. I made the decision to get an epidural. It had already been 14 1/2 hours and I was only dilated to 6 cm. I had wanted to try for a natural childbirth, but I knew that physically and mentally I could not do it for four more hours. Hannes filled out the paperwork and the midwife came in and...I changed my mind. I didn't want the epidural, but I needed something and something fast. She suggested gas and air (laughing gas/nitrous oxide). I tried that for my next contraction, but it didn't help with the pain. She said it doesn't do anything for the pain, it just helps you relax. I decided that at that point I needed something for the pain. I changed my mind again and asked for the anesthesiologist so I could get an epidural. He made it to the room very quickly, but it still took a while for me to get the pain medicine. They decided I was too far along for an epidural so I got a spinal block instead. It is a one time dose of medicine that they administer into your spine, I found out later - from the anesthesiologist - that it's more of an art than the epidural is. Before the anesthesiologist administered the spinal block my midwife was concerned that I was ready to push and that there wasn't time for the spinal after all. She kept insisting that she should check me, but I lied...oops! and told her I didn't feel an urge to push and that I just needed something for the pain. So, she let me get the spinal block. The first few contractions afterwards were even more painful...I didn't think that it worked! At this point I was very angry and just wanted the pain to be gone. My midwife kept trying to get me to roll on my back so she could check me, but the pain was too intense. A few contractions later I finally rolled onto my back and sweet relief...no pain! The spinal block only worked if I was laying on my back - I guess that was the "art" part that the anesthesiologist talked about! I was so happy to be pain free. She check me and the baby was 2 inches from being born and my water still hadn't broken so she went ahead and broke it for me. I just laid there through the next 4 contractions and rested. I closed my eyes and just relaxed, it was the best feeling in the world! At this point I had been in labor for over 15 1/2 hours. I really needed the break. The midwife kept asking me if I had the urge to push and said that he was ready to be born, but without the pain I had no urge to push and I was enjoying myself. She saw his heart rate dip and had me roll to my side and then the pain came back and with it the urge to push. Three contractions later and Henry was here! He was born at 12:55 am on June 8th! He weighed 3,530 grams and was 50 cm long. He also had the biggest feet...which I knew all along because they were always stuck in my ribs!
Hannes cut the umbilical cord. I delivered the placenta a few minutes later and then we just stared at him for a while. They brought us in some fika, a few sandwiches and some cider, but I wasn't in the mood for any food. I was exhausted. We were moved to a room where we stayed the night and we left the hospital as soon as we could, at 11 am the same day. We had to bring him back to the hospital on Sunday June 9th for a check up with the doctor. They thought he looked a little jaundice, but everything came back normal. Then we had to return on Tuesday the 11th for another check. They checked again for jaundice, and again everything was normal. They also weighed him again. Newborns can lose up to 10% of their body weight those first couple of days, but not Henry! He had only lost 100 grams and weighed 3.4 kilos. This past Tuesday, the 18th a nurse came to our house to do another check of Henry and he had gained almost half a kilo! He weighed 3.88 kilos! She seemed pretty impressed and I just knew his cheeks were looking chunkier! Overall, I really enjoyed the birth experience here. We were so well supported, but we were left alone. Which is just what I wanted.
Now here's some cute pictures of Henry Tage Bäckström!
At 5 pm we made a trip to the hospital to see what the progress was...I was 2 cm. Talk about disappointed! I had been having contractions for 8 1/2 hours at that point and only 2 cm!!! It was not the news I wanted to hear. We went back home. We went for another walk and I laid down and rested a little more. My contractions started coming quicker and they were stronger. It was hard to find a place to get comfortable at home so at 8 pm we decided to go back to the hospital and see where we were. After nearly 12 solid hours of labor I was at 4 cm. The nurse told me women usually progress about 1 cm an hour so I was really hoping I was further along at this point, but NO! They told us that we needed to stay at the hospital and they set us up in the labor and delivery room. The midwife hooked up all of the monitors and left. At 9, they had a shift change and our new midwife came in to introduce herself. At this point, my contractions were still bearable, but I was having bad back labor. I tried standing up and bending over the bed and having Hannes press on my back, but nothing seemed to work. The midwife brought me a hot water bottle and suggested I walk around outside for a while. The hot water really helped! Sweden was playing some soccer game and we didn't have a TV in the room so Hannes was listening to it on the radio. I joked that he was probably the worst husband ever leaving me to wander around outside, alone, while I was having contractions, but there was only 4 minutes left on the game and I was doing okay. I walked around for a while and then came back in and sat in the recliner, where I spent most of my time in labor. It was very comfortable and put just enough pressure on the water bottle on my lower back. I felt okay and Hannes and I talked in between contractions. Then 11 pm came and everything went downhill fast! My contractions were coming with almost no break, they were stronger and more painful then ever. I had Hannes call in the nurse to check me and see what progress I had made. I was at 6 cm!!! That was the worst news I could possibly ever hear. I, potentially, had 4 more hours of labor ahead of me! I knew I could endure the pain for a little longer, but not four more hours. I made the decision to get an epidural. It had already been 14 1/2 hours and I was only dilated to 6 cm. I had wanted to try for a natural childbirth, but I knew that physically and mentally I could not do it for four more hours. Hannes filled out the paperwork and the midwife came in and...I changed my mind. I didn't want the epidural, but I needed something and something fast. She suggested gas and air (laughing gas/nitrous oxide). I tried that for my next contraction, but it didn't help with the pain. She said it doesn't do anything for the pain, it just helps you relax. I decided that at that point I needed something for the pain. I changed my mind again and asked for the anesthesiologist so I could get an epidural. He made it to the room very quickly, but it still took a while for me to get the pain medicine. They decided I was too far along for an epidural so I got a spinal block instead. It is a one time dose of medicine that they administer into your spine, I found out later - from the anesthesiologist - that it's more of an art than the epidural is. Before the anesthesiologist administered the spinal block my midwife was concerned that I was ready to push and that there wasn't time for the spinal after all. She kept insisting that she should check me, but I lied...oops! and told her I didn't feel an urge to push and that I just needed something for the pain. So, she let me get the spinal block. The first few contractions afterwards were even more painful...I didn't think that it worked! At this point I was very angry and just wanted the pain to be gone. My midwife kept trying to get me to roll on my back so she could check me, but the pain was too intense. A few contractions later I finally rolled onto my back and sweet relief...no pain! The spinal block only worked if I was laying on my back - I guess that was the "art" part that the anesthesiologist talked about! I was so happy to be pain free. She check me and the baby was 2 inches from being born and my water still hadn't broken so she went ahead and broke it for me. I just laid there through the next 4 contractions and rested. I closed my eyes and just relaxed, it was the best feeling in the world! At this point I had been in labor for over 15 1/2 hours. I really needed the break. The midwife kept asking me if I had the urge to push and said that he was ready to be born, but without the pain I had no urge to push and I was enjoying myself. She saw his heart rate dip and had me roll to my side and then the pain came back and with it the urge to push. Three contractions later and Henry was here! He was born at 12:55 am on June 8th! He weighed 3,530 grams and was 50 cm long. He also had the biggest feet...which I knew all along because they were always stuck in my ribs!
Hannes cut the umbilical cord. I delivered the placenta a few minutes later and then we just stared at him for a while. They brought us in some fika, a few sandwiches and some cider, but I wasn't in the mood for any food. I was exhausted. We were moved to a room where we stayed the night and we left the hospital as soon as we could, at 11 am the same day. We had to bring him back to the hospital on Sunday June 9th for a check up with the doctor. They thought he looked a little jaundice, but everything came back normal. Then we had to return on Tuesday the 11th for another check. They checked again for jaundice, and again everything was normal. They also weighed him again. Newborns can lose up to 10% of their body weight those first couple of days, but not Henry! He had only lost 100 grams and weighed 3.4 kilos. This past Tuesday, the 18th a nurse came to our house to do another check of Henry and he had gained almost half a kilo! He weighed 3.88 kilos! She seemed pretty impressed and I just knew his cheeks were looking chunkier! Overall, I really enjoyed the birth experience here. We were so well supported, but we were left alone. Which is just what I wanted.
Now here's some cute pictures of Henry Tage Bäckström!
Thursday, June 6, 2013
The Post That Shouldn't Be...
This post should be about newborns. Small fingers and toes. Umbilical cord stumps. Labor. Instead, it's another pregnancy post.
40 Weeks + 3 Days
Hannes and I just got back from a long walk. We were trying to kick start this labor thing, but I don't think it's working. The longer we wait the less real this whole baby thing is becoming. Maybe I just have to pretend it isn't real so that I can manage still being pregnant. If you've read any of my previous posts, this has already felt like the longest pregnancy EVER and it just keeps going! Luckily, I am still able to sleep pretty well. Baby B has moved into a comfortable position and is no longer putting pressure on my pelvic bones. I still feel pretty "light" - if that's even possible. I've been trying to relax and enjoy my time alone...Hannes is working and the kids are still in school. The Vampire Diaries has been helping me stay distracted, but this morning I finished the fourth season so I will have to find something else.
Today is Sweden's National Day. We still have some time for the baby to be born today, which could be kind of fun. If he's born tomorrow his birthday would be 6/7/13 which could also be kind of fun. The kids are leaving on the 16th to head back to the States for the summer, they'll be gone for 6 weeks. That is another reason I want this baby to come sooner rather than later. The sooner he gets here the more time they can spend with their brother before leaving. We also have to drive them to Copenhagen to catch their flight and that will be a lot easier with an older baby and not still pregnant. If he doesn't come on his own, I have another midwife appointment on the 13th and I will be induced on the 18th (after the kids leave).
40 Weeks + 3 Days
Hannes and I just got back from a long walk. We were trying to kick start this labor thing, but I don't think it's working. The longer we wait the less real this whole baby thing is becoming. Maybe I just have to pretend it isn't real so that I can manage still being pregnant. If you've read any of my previous posts, this has already felt like the longest pregnancy EVER and it just keeps going! Luckily, I am still able to sleep pretty well. Baby B has moved into a comfortable position and is no longer putting pressure on my pelvic bones. I still feel pretty "light" - if that's even possible. I've been trying to relax and enjoy my time alone...Hannes is working and the kids are still in school. The Vampire Diaries has been helping me stay distracted, but this morning I finished the fourth season so I will have to find something else.
Today is Sweden's National Day. We still have some time for the baby to be born today, which could be kind of fun. If he's born tomorrow his birthday would be 6/7/13 which could also be kind of fun. The kids are leaving on the 16th to head back to the States for the summer, they'll be gone for 6 weeks. That is another reason I want this baby to come sooner rather than later. The sooner he gets here the more time they can spend with their brother before leaving. We also have to drive them to Copenhagen to catch their flight and that will be a lot easier with an older baby and not still pregnant. If he doesn't come on his own, I have another midwife appointment on the 13th and I will be induced on the 18th (after the kids leave).
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Labor
Labor is definitely one of those things that causes mixed emotions. Maybe the most mixed emotions one could possibly ever have. You dread it because you know how painful it's going to be, but yet you want it to happen...try to will it to happen even. The last few days I have found myself reading birth story after birth story, watching birthing videos, reading everything I can about taking care of a newborn and breastfeeding. I am so ready to have this baby, even though I am still pretty comfortable, but I know what has to happen first. I don't know if I'm ready for labor or if I ever will be. I keep looking for signs. Is that a contraction? Is my water about to break? Have I lost my mucus plug? Yet, I don't think that labor is any closer now than it was two weeks ago. I know I have to be wrong, but it seems crazy that one minute I could just be sitting on the couch and the next minute I'm in labor and several hours away from meeting Baby B. How is that even possible? I feel like there should be a slow build up and some time to prepare. I keep trying to picture labor. What I will do? Will I be walking or laying down? What will Hannes be doing? What's it going to be like when they hand me my baby. It's all too surreal. I can see images in my head, but they're foggy...like in a dream. I guess it's more of something you have to look back on. I keep looking at the crib, the baby swing, the small diapers and clothes, but I can't picture a baby in any of them. I know it should feel more real by now, but it just doesn't. It's like I've gotten used to these rumblings in my belly and come to accept that is just how my body works. I have little feet kicking me in my ribs and little fists punching my cervix. I have a baby rolling and swishing around in my belly, sucking on its hand and that is just a part of me. It's hard to imagine that soon it won't be. He'll have his own body and my organs will finally be able to return to their real homes! It won't be so easy to take care of this small life. It won't happen automatically. So many thoughts. Maybe this restlessness in my head means that he will be making his appearance soon! I hope so!
I've found that lately I am the only person patient enough to find a decent angle and decent lighting to get an okay picture. Plus, the phone pretty much hides my double chin :) That's always a bonus!
39 weeks 5 days!!!
I've found that lately I am the only person patient enough to find a decent angle and decent lighting to get an okay picture. Plus, the phone pretty much hides my double chin :) That's always a bonus!
39 weeks 5 days!!!
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